No one here gets tired of your whining, at least I dont. Thats the reason we come here in the first place, to do just that when we have to and share our good feelings when we are experiencing them also. Im going to whine a little bit with you if ya dont mind. My W knows I come here and read my thread once when I was having a bad day. She said she knew I would come here looking for support and that she could feel the pain in every word I wrote. I find that hard to believe, at least to the extent that it grabs a hold of me at times. I should've told her this is my private situation here and to stay out, but I would never know for sure if she would or not.
Andy if you're reading this thanks for stopping by my thread. Yes, the ladies here have taken good care of me. I only wish I was married to one of them, seems like I wouldnt be going through this personal hell like I am now. This past week has been rough. Ive been able to keep it to myself for the most part, but in all honesty I feel as if Im gradually slipping by the wayside and slowly starting to detach myself from her emotionally. I cant believe 8 months into our M and 7 months after the birth of our child she had already given up on me and our family. I know she has her reasons and Im partially to blame, but it was hard on me also, and I handled it with dignity and respect. We were both young and parenthood was a shock to us both, no doubt. But that was no reason to act out as weakly and quickly as she did. It drives me insane to think of this.
Ive also read where men are a slight more "visual" when it comes to finding out something like this. I believe it. The images that run through my mind are starting to take their toll on me. The more I see them the more I start pulling away from her. I dont mean to be too graphic here but when I see her in the nude I no longer see the beautiful woman I once fell in love with, instead I see a body that has been shared with someone else, and that person has memories of the time they spent together. It makes me sick to my stomach, literally. I am having big time trouble letting go of the past. I wish I could do like Lily and "live in the moment", but I just dont know how sometimes.
And Matilda you were right about what your C told your H. Its not fair. Its not fair at all that we are left to make the decision of whether or not our families stay together, especially when we have to bear the brunt of all this pain caused by our spouses'. After all, what did we ever do that was so wrong that we deserve to be put through this? I cant answer that question, and I seriously doubt you can either. She's the one that gave up on us so early, but yet Im the one that has to make the most crucial decision of my sons' life. The decision of whether or not he will be raised in a broken home. She was raised like that, so why in the hell would she jeapordize his future like she did? Especially over someone that isnt even worth p*ssing on. Damnit I dont need to be here right now, at least not on your thread. I should copy this over to mine and if she reads it then so be it. I had to get this out of my system though before the weekend started, maybe my mood will change by Monday.
Mattie you enjoy yourself at your sons' graduation tonight. I know it's hard to be involved with something that means so much to the entire family and have to look at your H and know that he has done something that could destroy everything you have ever worked for in life. If you can please make the best of it, do it for your son if nothing else. He deserves it, and so do you. Be strong this weekend and I'll try to take my own advice and do the same....
