Someone must be sane for the kids, of course, and it makes me very sad for you and all involved when two people can't even work together on child issues. It's he!!.
What I am talking about is the best case scenario, and unfortunately, it often does not occur. But I would encourage you to continue trying, as best as you are able.
As for all of the monetary issues she is throwing your way... get yourself a good attorney, which I am sure you have. I do not believe that any court would approve such utterly ridiculous, one-sided amount.
Get yourself set up in a home or apartment and make it kid ready as soon as you are able. Get documentation from your place of employment verifying your flex schedule. At least in my state, whenever a divorce occurs involving children, the court will appoint a state childworker to come in and monitor the living situation for the kids. They stay with the families until they file a report, making a recommendation of custody to the court. If you do not automatically get this, you can certainly request it.
In the meantime, continue to stay as involved with your kids as you have always been. Keep copious notes. A diary, if you will, of conversations, meals, etc., especially on child issues. Save every bill you pay, save every receipt on what you spend, and if you have access to your W's accounts, do so there as well.
I cannot tell you how important the diary is. As your stress increases, your memory gets... fuzzy. It may prove invaluable to you down the road, especially where your kids are concerned.
If you have the time and the money right now, I would encourage you to get into IC, especially to discuss how to best help your kids through this process. Again, I would always continue to try and work with your W, always extend the olive branch, especially through the D process, but no door mat service.
And again, document, document, document. Record where your children are and what they do with you, and as much as you are able, the same with your W. You may also want to suggest that in any situation involving the kids day care, the parents always has right of first refusal... try to get that added to the temporary orders, if you are able.
In many states, if one parent files for full-custody, it is encumbant upon the filing parent to prove the other as unfit. This will have an impact on your children. I'm not judging here, just trying to give you things to think about.
I am so sorry you are going through this. As corny as it sounds, I'd highly recommend that you start taking Flaxseed Oil (or better, Fish Oil suppplements), and a B-Complex with Vit. C. It helps your body ward off the effects of stress. I'm not kidding.... you probably won't notice any difference when you start taking them, but you will definitely notice a difference if you stop taking them for more than a day or two.
Quote: Corri, I hope you can understand that my children mean the most in my life. That used to be held by my STBXW. I have ured my heart and soul into raising them. To have them ripped away and then in addition be gouged financially, just crushes me.
Of course they do. I was not trying to insinuate anything less. In D cases where children are involved, they so often become the pawns of spousal anger and revenge. Keep your focus on them, and try not to panic. It would be the very worst thing you could do right now.
