F4W, while there are always 2 sides to any story, I have always had the feeling from reading the FACTS in your posts that you have been the better parent for your kids. I do hope the kids aren't the ones who lose in this case. Having said that, and looking back to my childhood when my parents divorced....my father was never a parent to his kids, and mostly ran from any responsibility. I was about 8 or 10 I guess, I don't even remember, my sisters were all older and were not available when he wanted to see us (smarter than little old me). But I would go with him on Sundays, to the bar where his girlfriend was, and I had a great time playing games and the jukebox and collecting candy bars and dimes from all the other patrons that talked about how cute I was. At the end of the day or night, my 'father' would drive me back home, after drinking all day, a 45 minute drive. I don't have a clue how my mom allowed that to happen multiple times, the danger I was in by being with him driving in his condition, but she always let me go. I see it as her strength, to let me go and form my own opinion of my father. She never interfered, she never talked down about him. Eventually, when my mom tried to collect child support, good old dad skipped the state and never did pay a dime. I think she only went after child support because she knew he wouldn't pay, but he wouldn't hang around either. Moms way of protecting me without having to go face to face with an unreasonable person. When I turned legal age, he moved back, in fact he lashed at me for the neighborhood I was currently living in, and then moved in on the same block, but he never made more contact with me while he lived so close. My reason for laying this all out here, kids need to have the choice, to grow up with both parents influence, and they will mature with their own opinions. It will take longer than you would like it to, but it will happen.

Raincoat - why would this story surface now? for what purpose? are these people who you call friends?

Keep your chin up, sit tall in the saddle, look to the horizon.

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.