Landing in this forum after 1.5 years

[DonH]

F4W clearly this is a crappy place to be in. Still, if we are committing to work on ourselves and to be the best that we can, we always need to look what we are doing and saying. In your post I see you saying how you supported your STBX in what she was saying and doing. That is your statement. In the same post I see how you are telling her how wrong she is, that what she is doing is wrong, etc. How is that supporting her? Now, mind you, I agree with you. She is wrong (in my eyes) and what she is doing sucks. But then you have to at least admit that you are not supporting her. You don't get it both ways on this one.

Then you have to decide what it is you want at this point. Are you hoping to get her back? Are you hoping that this M will still work out? Then I'm not sure what you are saying and doing is going to get you at all closer to your goals. While I have been pretty clear on how I'm somewhat down on DBing and firmly believe it is not nearly as effective as we want to think or have been lead to think, I still think it's our best shot. I don't have a better idea. To that end, again your tact is not going to work.

And finally, if you really believe that the two attornies here don't like or perhaps hate each other, which seems a bit odd to me but anyhow, if that is what you think is the case, you really need to dump your attorney and get one that is not at odds with your W's. No good will come from this if these two are really after each other - and if they are both females, good Lord, please dump her. I'm not against female att. just ones that hate the opposing council. I certainly think it is poss. they could drag the two of you into their issues - even if they are not trying to do that. I'm not sure that attornies help at all in a D to begin with. Honestly, I have not seen att. help much at all in matters of one person v another. Almost every single time that att. get involved all that happens is greater frustration and lots of cash out the door and into the att. When they have underlying issues it can only get worse.

Not a rosey post to you - I know that. It does come with honesty and in a manner of trying to point out some things for you to consider. I ask again though, what is it you want at this point? What are your new goals? Lay them out and then decide how to best get there.

My Current Sitch