Landing in this forum after 1.5 years

[Fighting4Wife]

Thank you all! Again I am amazed at where we can find support and how caring other are about people all over this country.

Let me update...

I read all the filed paperwork last night and again today. Needless to say, I was angered and also astonished at the sheer fabrications and allegations. Proposed paernting plan was for 4 days every other week and the CS was outrageous!

Neither are acceptable.

So my sister writes an email to my STBXW and tries to get her to consider joint custody. There is no love loss between my family and her. So this of course was my fault. I replied to my STBXW email that she got the information from the pleadings I read to her over the phone last night. This lead to a phone call from STBXW in 2 minutes.

Very emotional and also very healthy. I read to her from the pleadings, she did not review them before signing and said she woould have her attorney make the changes. She also said this was done because I threatened full-custody. Which I said was an option that I may consider. And in light of the pleadings may still do.

This lead to her crying and asking me what should she do. I stated again what I have been stating all along, I am here, I oppose D, I love you, although right now I do not like you very much (YES I said it), I do not want this marriage right now (yes I said it), these are your issues you need to be accountable for. You filed, YOu ok'd the pleadings, you are looking to leave the marriage, you are the one who finds me repulsive, a perv, an ass, etc etc. I cannot make this decision for you. To do so would be controlling and wrong.

This went on for 45 minutes, she bounced back and forth about calling off the divorce, she can do the marriage, to why can't I just let her go, tell her what I want and she will follow, to she is scared b/c I might seek full custody, she will have her attorney make the needed changes, I mean she was all over the place.

I continued to support her. That I understood that she is confused and unsure, scared and emotional, that this is not easy. But I also stated Divorce is wrong for the reasons you are seeking. You just do not want to "play marriage" anymore becasue we are at a point where we both need to grow up, make changes, and work at our marriage. I am willing to do that. You are not.

She finally had to go. I was very supportive and assured her that I do not hate you. I do not blame you. You need to make a decision and you have. Now I need to make a decision that I do not want to make.

We said GB.

I am proud of myself because I did not fight nor become emotional. I am approaching this from the factual side. She is letting her attorney grind her axe she has with my attorney.

I do not think much of any of today, except my wife is now seeing that divorce is not easy when one still has undying love for her.

She is now having to face reality.

F4W