"I'll think about it tomorrow!"

[healedbutscarred]

Matilda...I am proud of you!! Sounds like you handled the "after the movie" comment by your H VERY WELL!! I think you are right...if he sees that when he feels the need to share his thoughts and feelings about the A,you aren't going to fall apart or "throw it in his face",he will begin to be more open and maybe start to forgive himself. You are a smart lady!! Keep up the good work!! I know how much you love this guy (even when he's not so lovable !!)and how badly you want your marriage to work and be stronger!! Your H will soon realize that if you loved him enough to forgive him for having the A, you love him enough to stand by him even when he is "beating himself up" over what he did!! It seems that I am the one who made the biggest effort to make changes in our R. My H did make changes,don't get me wrong,it's just that I was the one to begin initiating all the little romantic gestures. He seemed to enjoy them and he started to initiate some of his own. My H and I had a talk the other day about "being romantic" and "doing little things". He was taking me out to dinner Saturday night and told me I had all day to think about where I wanted to go. I told him that it would be romantic if he thought about someplace I loved going to but we haven't been to in awhile and surprised me by taking me there. Guess he must have thought about what I had said because when he came home from playing golf he got ready to go and when we were leaving he said" this may not be the most romantic place to take you on a date but I know it's somewhere you love going to and the last time we went there it was too crowded to get in"!! Sometimes you just have to "lead" them in the right direction !! Yesterday he had to go into work and then he was going to go out to the club to play in a golf "scramble". He surprised me by coming home at 11:00 and asking me to go with him!! I took my things so I could go to the pool while he played but he wanted me to ride around with him while he played!! I really enjoyed it and told him so several times!! He wasn't sure that I'd really enjoy myself....men!! There had a picnic on the patio after golf but we weren't hungry then so we just sat around,had a couple of drinks and chatted with some folks. Then he surprised me by taking me to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner!! Needless to say I told him how specail he had made the day for me and I showed him my appreciation when we got home !!!! I told him this morning that being romantic means more than flowers and candy. Being romantic is little surprises for no reason,holding hands when you are out in public,and other "little" things like that. I hope he is getting the picture!! You hang in there!! I know sometimes it is really hard for you to put up with your H when he acts like he does. I'll bet you'd like to try and "knock some sense into his head" sometimes !! But you have this deep love for him and it will see you through the hard times!! You keep on showing him unconditional love and he'll soon get on the right track!! My "money's" on you Matilda - you are WINNER!!!! pfroglady