I think none of us are very good at hearing what's being said to us. I had a good exchange about that going on one of my old threads ( Struggling with Perceptions (Page 3) ) The way I see it, sometimes we hear what we want to hear, but in most cases, we hear what we expect to hear. I think that’s kinda where your H is at. He can’t believe that you really want to stay with him, so he’s searching for clues to support this. He’s trying to mentally prepare for the worst. This mental exercise only contributes to his own personal hell, but there’s nothing you can do about it, and not much he can do about it either. He’s scared. Pure and simple.
A while back, my W took exception to my references to her MLC. She was surprised when I pointed out that I had never referred to it. It was she that talked about it. Our minds play tricks on us when we make assumptions about what another person is thinking.
I know you where joking about throwing him out, but just to illustrate my point, if you did throw him out, it would only skew his assumptions even more. What could he assume about your actions? He’d have to assume that you wanted him out. The way I see it, all you can do is continue to show compassion and love. The lack of mixed signals will gradually change his perception, and after a time, his expectations will not be of the worst case scenario.
quote:Originally posted by pfroglady: All you can do is show him everyday that you loved him enough to forgive him or he'd have been gone a long time ago!!
Here’s a thought. What do you think he would think if you came right out and told him that????
I know actions speak louder than words, but there’s so much truth in that statement. It’s irrefutable! There was never, and still isn’t any reason for you not to kick him out except that you love him and want your R to work. If he still doesn’t believe that statement, you can challenge him to find any other reason why you’d stick with him.
