I love what you said -- show him that "inspite of himself, you still love him." Boy, doesn't that say it all about all of our wayward H's. We love 'em inspite of themselves. Just love that!!
I've been making myself nuts over this. Totally over-analyzing things -- why isn't he doing this or that? Why did he do/say this or that? I'm stopping right now. It's his issue. I can't change his perception of himself. Maybe a little loving detachment is what is needed here. I'll just let him know I'm here for him, but I won't put any pressure on him to meet my unfulfilled needs right now. They really aren't really significant anyway. Just things I'd like sometime in the future. Right now, at this very moment, I'm pretty satisfied. I'm pretty happy. It's sure taken a long time to get to this place. I'm gonna relax and enjoy it for a while.
Oh, and I passed my hormone test -- which means, this week when my hormones went wacky and I got my migraine and usual emotional stuff that goes with it, it did NOT cause me to spiral out of control regarding the A!! I did have a moment of tearfulness. I did have a moment of anger. I did NOT mention the A to my H. I did NOT bring up any unpleasantness at all.
This is a biggie, cuz every other time I had the hormonal highs it would send me into a tailspin of recriminations about with A with my H. I am healing, gang. It's taken such a very long time to get here, but I am actually healing. 7 months ago I would never have thought it was possible. Thank you, God. Thank you, all my dear friends on this board.
I hope my H can see my healing. I hope he can believe it when I tell him I've forgiven him. Maybe then he'll start forgiving himself.
