Mattie...you are doing all you can. Everyone is right when they tell you that he created the hell he is living in. He knows that he caused the situation and whatever happens because of what he did is in your hands. The big thing is I don't think he has forgiven himself yet and until he does he is going to live in fear that at anytime you may tell him to "hit the road". All you can do is show him everyday that you loved him enough to forgive him or he'd have been gone a long time ago!! You are right when you say he only heard what he wanted to hear but that is not your problem,it's his and he needs to really listen when you talk. Men....sometimes they can be so dense!! [Roll Eyes] But what can you do? My favorite expression is " Men,can't live with them and they are too big to flush down the toilet"!! Ya gotta love the big lugs though don't you? [Big Grin] Seriously,it's too bad that you have made such great headway and your H seems to have gotten stuck and can't seem to get passed what he has done. He is going to have to get passed the point he seems to have stopped at,forgive himself and then maybe he can move forward again. He is the one stopping the healing process,not you. See what I'm getting at? You just keep on loving him and sooner or later he'll get the message that in spite of himself,you love him and you plan on keeping him!! [Wink]