Well my W is out of town. We had a MC session before she left and it was one of those sessions that reinforced what I had been telling her. Of course, she detaches when it does not go her way; i.e. when MC says I should do something, the W is on board - but if MC says she need to work on sex - then MC is "off base". She even actually admitted she feels more detatched after the session.
I had previously told her that I did not want to have sex when I knew she did not. She got angry about the MC and said she wanted me to have sex to show me what it's like to be asked to do something that you do not want to do.
Anyway, I just feel weird now when we speak over the phone. It's like I am just going through the motions. Inevitably something happens and one of says we'll call right back, but then do not call back for hours.
Before I was frustrated with the "no/little sex" issue as there was such a 180 degree change from pre-marriage to marriage sex frequency & type. Now I feel more like whatever, nothing I can do about it. The MC says she needs to work on it and she just says she does not want to have sex...so nothing happens. At least the MC said that I am not unreasonable and that the M will fail eventually without sex.
Maybe this is a natural progression. I was frustrated, worked on issues she wanted, etc. in hopes that would help. Now, maybe bc she is out of town, I just seem very relaxed about it. Perhaps this is the natural "detachment" phase that is the beginning of the end.
I love my W dearly and have been committed to help her in her life's journey (problem solving, emotional support, help w/ her kids, finances, etc), but I have got very little, if any, progress from her on the one issue I asked to be resolved, returned to normal.
Maybe I just see now that she will not or cannot return to her pre-marriage self. Therefore, I am left with either a no/little sex marriage (where moon/stars need line up and I do every little thing & big thing she asks) or walking away. Perhaps that has finally sunk in and I know where this is headed.
