Good start to your new thread; lots of PMA in the title!
Matilda, you and I seem to show the two perspectives of the aftermath of an Affair. This has got to help somebody, right?
Please give me your take on the following. Back in February I had to draw a boundary around the ow. We were on a trip and I wanted to clarify something. It just didn't sit right w me that H and ow had done all their trysts at the work site. She just looks to high maintenance to settle for not having moola spent to impress her. H said something like "we've talked about this and you just have to go back; take me back to the murder scene." I felt bad for making him feel bad. I managed to stay away from ow topic until this past weekend (12 weeks-not bad). He anwsered questions until I hit on the when and where and he became angry. He said he never discussed sex w me to anyone nor will he discuss sex w anyone else w me. He meant the grafics. He also used that term murder again.
Matilda, was he telling me that each time they had flesh in flesh he was killing his love for me? I just don't get it and can't ask him to explain what he was talking about. Another thing he's said a couple of times was w reference to dogs chasing cars. "I don't do that anymore"---what did he mean?
Here's the biggie. Since his boundary being thrown up around this can I think of her reawaking his passion. Matilda, it is affecting me when I seek intimacy w him. He is very responsive w me but there's something missing. I guess he put his passion "in the can" w ow.
As time passes, do you think that he will (can) become passionate w me again? I mean in that he will see me and think "I WANT this" or will I probably have to settle for that calmer, mature, sort of love-making? This was hard to ask.
He's 50. During the summer when he was conflicted by dealing w two women he had some trouble w me. He told me that he sometimes had the same problem w ow. In December, I tried to challenge him to be the one to get things going and he told me not to push it (I realize now he was going through withdrawal from her). Physically he seems better. He tends to fake orgasms (he's an actor, remember) and I find myself insecure. Is that due to him not 'loving' me. Is it due to his age? I just am so embarrassed asking this stuff. He has to go for a physical and that's a good time to set him up for blood work (check his testosterone).
If I'm smart I will stop thinking about the above and just slowee slowee work toward my goal of intertwining H and me into a strong R.
More developements on my thread (not scarey stuff this time). I'll be asking advice. Would appreciate your imput.
