thank you Mary p and zebra. Yes I'm still db-ing, I'm acting as if things are Ok and being his friend and much easier and kinder to be around. You know, trying to be someone he'll want to return to. No demands or pressure or the destructive behavior I was doing for so long before. I am a new woman now and he just needs to give me time and see these changes, he doesn't think they'll stick. But when I set my mind on something I'm relentless. That's how important this is to me. Mary P, the email I sent said that "i was making changes for a better marriage and that he needs to realize these things and that he must have since he is willing to give us another chance" I think this last statement is what freaked him out because he wrote back that he wasn't neccessarily giving us another chance, etc. Lisa
