MOT, please remember this concept THIS IS A PROCESS NOT AN EVENT! there were many conversations. The most important thing i can share with you is not to initiate the conversation.patience is a virtue that i had to struggle with. it is necessary for your spouse to be firm in the thought that it her/his idea and /or that they are ready. Now that doesn't mean allow yourself to be strung along because during this process you are suppose to be strengthening your relationship with you in order to have the strength to make the right decisions. This includes the decision to move on. if he/she is not ready your bringing it up will be perceived as pressure and sometimes rightfully so. my wife and I had a very strong pursuer -distancer thing going on (i was the pursuer) so when i started to consistantly out distance her(my 180) she would start resorting to something she thought i wanted to hear to start the chase again. the trick was to learn how to maintain just the right distance. Once that is learned and mastered it is a thing of beauty, like reeling in a prize catch. this coupled with patience led us to the point she started bringing up the subject of moving back. once this happened i had to be very careful. the responses had to be positive but not enough to start the chase. hey i gotta go got an barber appointment my wife and i are going out tonight. i will get back up in about 2 hours read ya then peace mikeg
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