I haven't been on the board for a few months, but here's a quickie. My wife and i separated a year ago last august. she asked me to leave because the marriage wasn't working for her. we did the counseling thing and she lied all the way through it, as i suspected she was having an affair. after a 1 year separation, DBing and working real hard on just being happy my wife and i have been living together again for seven months. Things are great! there was a period during which things were a little fragile. this had to with her having to regain trust and truly believing that i had forgiven her. She also had to forgive herself. this was a process not an event. The things that i learned during our separation have made me a better person. our lows are really not that low any more due to the power of modeling behavior. it took a while but eventually she began acting like i was being. consideration, forgiveness, understanding, and most of all patience have become my greatest allies. My wife regularly tells me that she loves me and has become very affectionate. (one of her previous issues was she was not attracted and didn't love me in that way) This has changed also she has become a little more forward shall we say. I am constantly aware of how things that i did allowed her to build up resentments and i don't do those things anymore ( unless i slip every now and then, and i fix it immediately upon revealation). the most important thing that got me through this process was rigorus self honesty. acknowledging the part i played in the breakdown and working on those areas. doing my part and watching god do the rest. In the past i have been very guarded and humble about what has happened concerning the complete reconciliation of our marriage. Now i feel very comfortable in saying that through DBing, the support of the people on this board and most importantly the grace of God I do have a success story to tell. [Wink]
peace
mikeg