Last night, I found out what the “issue” that W told me about two weeks ago was.
According to W, the issue is what is preventing her from desiring me. Intellectually, she accepts it, but her feelings towards me are affected regardless. She also stated her lack of desire for me is our only outstanding problem, but admitted it was a biggy. I took some comfort from this since she’s previously stated that she didn’t miss “it.” Before, it was my problem, but it seems like it’s ours now. Having said that, there’s nothing I can do about it (sigh).
We discussed it. I clarified some misconceptions, and there’s nothing else I can do. It involves her feelings, and whatever I’ve done, I can’t unring the bell. She wants to – dare I say it – bury the past, but what goes through her mind is totally out of my control, and not completely in her control.
She did say that, “At least we can talk about it.”
Once the mother of all OR talks was over, she expressed a lot of concern about how I felt. She kept asking, “Are you OK?” Frankly, I wasn’t, but for once, I didn’t have to hide the fact.
Feelings are feelings. Logic doesn’t enter into it. We can use certain techniques to try to overcome them (e.g.: cognitive therapy), but regardless of how much PMA she can muster, it’ll take time. The same goes for me.
For those who have expressed concerns about the health issues, I have a doctor’s appointment. Don’t know what W is doing, but… one issue at a time. I’m not going to stir the pot while she has this other thing to hash out.
