Being on the same team is one of my favourite analogies. Once we and our spouses both feel like we're on the same team, we stop interpreting things in a we/they sort of way.
Your H should be concerned about how things affect the both of you, and about how things affect you alone. But until you're on the same team, you'll both think the other is thinking only of him/herself.
You get into a contest. Keep score about who is wrong and who is right, instead of what is right.
So, the way to break this sort of thinking is to change your own thinking. Lily said it beautifully:
quote:Originally posted by lily May 01, 2002 02:04 PM onStill getting over it!! (Page 4): Another little mantra: I'd rather be happy than right.
