I agree with you completely. It’s important for a couple to do things just for the two of them. Also, referring back to Matilda’s comment:
quote:Originally posted by matilda: And, let's face it, if it results in their parents being more relaxed and happier, they'll reap the benefits from that, too. You'll be leaving them a wonderful legacy if they see their parents affectionate and loving towards each other, HAPPY being together.
I couldn’t agree more. In fact, a coupla years ago, W was not doing enough for herself. I told her that her priorities should be:
1. Herself 2. Me 3. The kids
In that order!
My reasoning was that a happy household needs the mother to be happy. And, exactly as Matilda stated, if she (we) are happy as a couple, we not only provide our family with a stable, safe environment, but we provide them with a role model for their own future relationships.
Well, back then, she couldn’t bring herself to think this way. It finally came to the point where she got fed up taking care of the rest of us, and you all know the rest. She’s backed off a little in that she doesn’t only think of herself. But, the kids are her #2 priority, and I’m a very distant fourth place (she’s inserted her other friends ahead of me).
When she started distancing, I complained that we needed time alone together. Her response was that we had time together. We were in the same house on the weekends when we were doing housework, and we were together when we did things with other friends.
This is enough for her. If I want more, it intrudes on her own personal time.
Lily, though my chronology isn’t an exaggeration, I suppose it seems worse than the way I stated it. There are times when things aren’t so hectic. This morning, for example, the family left us alone for our morning coffee. Problem is that there’s not enough consistency to this for us to take advantage. Yes, we talked a little, but since W is so tired from the accumulation of stress, I feel like I’m intruding on her quiet time if I talk.
As to the sidecar… We’re wearing down our finances with the bikes. Don’t think we can afford one. In any case, W isn’t confident enough for passengers right now, and I’m not allowed to have ‘em.
But…
Yesterday wasn’t so bad.
I went for my written test (motorcycle), and passed. That doesn’t give me anything, really, except the right to take the practical part of the motorcycle course. After my test, we went and finished off the paperwork to buy W’s bike.
Got some time to joke around, which was nice (one of those oh so rare opportunities for the simple moments that Esperanza talked about).
Then, as usual, we went our separate ways (kick, karate, taxi services for d#2, etc.)
Just gotta keep going with the flow, and hoping that I can get some realistic dreams.
