Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time lately. I myself have come to the brink of filing for D several times. But hey, it ain't over 'til it's over. If you H is meant to come back, he will.
And I know how much money troubles can bring one down. Just remember it's only money. It's not love or happiness. Please, please, please find something to bring some joy to your life.
I cannot say everything with my H is great, but I can say that one of the turning points was when we spent the day at the arboretum. My H kept going on later about what a good time he had and how much he wanted to go back. I later found out it was because he said he hadn't seen me so happy in a long time.
Take heart my friend. Things can turn around even when they look most grim.
