The feeling of distrust and not feeling you can expose yourself to that again is good reason to just focus on you and your son....you really don't NEED anyone to be truly happy....
One thing you said struck a cord with me
Quote: I really can't fathom my H coming around from the point he is at. He is starkly different. If he ever does it will not be before years of struggling I think. I would have never given up on him - "in sickness and in health" - but he has already told me that he gave up and doesn't think we belong together. I simply can't put my entire life's happiness on hold to wait for a very unlikely outcome.
I can tell you the second time I filed for divorce (the second time in one year, lol) my H had been gone for over a year....I had finally asked him straight up "Do you EVER think you could live with me again?"....he said "NO"....I had him sign the papers then....he was so cold....not the man I had known since I was 15.....not anything like the man I had known just 3 years previous....like you I decided I wasn't putting my happiness on hold (this was a mistake to do in the first place....with or without our mate we need to be happy).....I was moving on....not to another man but just with my life and my children....and guess what?....about 5 months later my H did a slow 180... first talking to me, then moving to be closer to our son, then going back to church, then going out with me and having fun....now he is here almost nightly...he can't officially live here because he can't pass the credit report to get added to my rental agreement and because he has too many creditors looking for him that I don't want the stress on me and my children....so for everyone else he is not LIVING here....but he stays a lot
So yes....move on with life....find your happiness....but you just never know what happiness may end up finding you down the road....yes moving on with life is good....it is what we need to do....but it doesn't mean slamming the door on the past....
You never know what the future may bring...you H might eventually come out of it....you might find you are happy on your own with your S....and who knows you might find each other....and you might not....but either way....life will go on and you will be fine...
