After 6 mos of Sep I emailed an ex-boyfriend who lives in another state. I found out he is also M/Sep and proceeded to fantasize how we would get back together. We exchanged 2-3 more emails and then ZILCH. He stopped writing. About 3 weeks ago I contacted another ex and we have talked on the phone a couple of times. He is in a R w/ mother of S8, yet he was quite flirtatious w/ me.
After these 2 experiences - and some of the advice/suggestions I have received here - I believe that I need to end my M before I start out a new R. That is my dilemma.
How long do I wait this out? My H shows no signs of wanting reconciliation and the pain of betrayal seems to only compound each time I see him (3-4x/wk). I am not a glutton for punishment and I don't want my H thinking that I am "ok" with his behavior. I'm afraid he thinks that - by me not asking for a D - I am some pathetic woman hanging on his every move.
Yes, I have been GAL. I've been having a pretty good Summer w/ friends, a new job, great books, re-discovering ME. I changed my hair, lost weight (through the Sep), and generally feel better about myself. I think I'm a better mom and a better person because I have learned how to let go in a totally new way. I just don't take it all so seriously anymore.
But then my H will do something that reminds me that he is carrying on a completely separate romantic life and I am burned again.
We have our 3rd MC appt w/ new (better) MC next month. The fist 2 sessions seemed to go well, H talking about his feelings and our R for the first time in a way that makes sense. MC is really good and able to get right to the point. H did express a desire to understand how it was that we got to the point that he would find Ow. He still says it was a "coincidence" that Ow was there right when our M had fallen apart (in his mind). Wow, can he really be that naive??
He does admit to still feeling confused, has not mentioned D (lately), and wants to continue MC. I'm afraid I'm the naive one now - thinking that these are all signs that he is not DONE yet. But maybe he's just not ready (or financially equipt) to file for D.
As for our joint finances - call me crazy - but I think I can still "trust" him on not depleting our account - if for no other reason but to maintain a R w/ S4. I'm sure he's aware that if he were to mess up royally with our money he would not have rights to S4. Also, we never have enough money in our account to get very far
The one thing I'm angry about right now is that (I assume) he was w/ Ow all weekend (reason for bringing laundry to my place Sunday morning) - and still pays rent for apt. Why can't he just live w/ her, at least we'd save on his rent!
Ok, better get back to work - on lunch.
Monica
My sitch: Me 40 H 30 M 8 yrs 1 S5.5 Bomb Oct 2005 Sep Nov 2005 H w/ Ow I filed for LS June 2007 H responded w/ D 2007 I have sole P custody, joint L Just need to take care of Final Judgement papers
