Quote: I'm in no hurry to be in a new R, but it would be nice to date or to feel like there are prospects out there. I think part of me resents H for having someone and I don't. Not exactly a good reason to jump into a R, but I also don't want him to think I'm just sitting around *pining" for him.
What are your thoughts on dating at this stage in the game - anyone?
That is a big mistake....for a few reasons....one of which is you are still legally married....I started down this path thinking that my marriage was over and wanting what you do...to know you are still desirable...that there is someone out there for you...inside you already know that answer...
While you say you only want to date not get involved in a relationship the fact of the matter is that most of us want the whole package and once you start the process things just naturally happen and before long you are going to be involved in a relationship...unless you are some sort of ice princess....but then the other guy could still fall for you and get hurt too...you don't want to do that to another innocent party...
The problem comes in because the marriage is not REALLY over....and thus the door is open for reconciling...now it may or may not occur but you can almost guarantee that if you become involved with someone that one of two things happens....1) there will be no reconciling....or 2) the other person is going to be very hurt if there is...
Even when a divorce document is signed it is not the end all....you really really need to be OVER in your heart... because if you jump into another relationship it might be tainted with the past love...you need to work on you...
Also....a divorce will not solve your financial woes anymore then what you can do seperated...I do think the wisest thing is to sit down with a financial adviser and see what can be worked out....in court it is usually divided in half which would not be to your advantage...
So take a breath...stop thinking about what he is doing...and take time to be a mom and a better person...this is where life will come back to meet you....either in the form of your H or someone prince charming....but if your not healed you really can't be there for anyone....not even H....
I have been there and done this...and am working my butt off now to piece it all back together....I still feel bitter sometimes but I have to let it go...no negative feelings....they only destroy what good I have accomplished....
