How do I behave around my cheating husband?

[MonicaP]

Hi JokerMan,

Yes, I totally believe that most of my H's crisis right now is about his anger toward his parents (more so toward his father) and essentially a delayed adolescence in the extreme. He walked the straight and narrow his whole life fearing that if he didn't somehow his father would reject him, or worse, shame and ridicule him. My H was a "goodie-goodie" his whole life - until now. That's why no one expected this - not even my H.

So, my dilemma is - do I wait for H to grow up knowing that he may never be the nice guy again, or do I completely move on? Maybe there's a middleground but I haven't found it yet.

I contacted another ex-boyfriend "out of curiosity" and fun. Got a brief, but nice, response and an invitation to email or call. I emailed. I'm not thinking much farther than that. There is a weird sense of betrayal I feel - but c'mon, I gotta go on with my life.

Next MC appt is Aug 8th. Our homework from 1st session is to do a timeline of our R writing the key things that stand out in our minds. I wonder what H will come up with. I haven't started mine yet - I think it's too depressing.

About the money, I have no idea if my H is trying to pull anything over on me - or if he plans to - but I just don't feel right about calling a lawyer or mediator just yet. I would like to have clear knowledge of his accounts and pay, but I don't think it's time yet.

monica