How do I behave around my cheating husband?

[flip]

In our MC appt he admitted never fathoming having an affair..."it was the last thing I expected would ever happen"...blah, blah, blah. But in his case I think he really believed that. But I truly believe that he used the Ow (in the beginning) as a way to show me how unhappy he was...in our marriage...with everything. He was never able to tell me directly and wound up doing the one thing he knew would mean "the end" for me. It was/is very cowardly. But that's his problem I think - he's terrified of confrontation so he just went along with me (building resentment along the way).

What I wish he had trusted was that he could tell me anything, anything - even "I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore, I'm not attracted to you anymore, etc". Whatever it was, I would have responded with understanding.

But honestly, I don't think the real problem is/was our M. I think the real problem is my H's lack of confidence, inability to express his needs directly, and the maturity to understand that each couple goes through - at some point - these dig-deep-down-to-your-core problems.

I really appreciate what you have written - I think it really sums up my H too.