****H met Ow at a nightclub while listening to Goth music.
Yeah, that's where true love begins....read sarcasm
****But I truly believe that he used the Ow (in the beginning) as a way to show me how unhappy he was...in our marriage
Well affairs are not always about sex. It is to fill a void. The cheaters, me included, use that as an excuse to have an affair.
****I think the real problem is my H's lack of confidence, inability to express his needs directly, and the maturity to understand that each couple goes through - at some point - these dig-deep-down-to-your-core problems.
Could be. My "excuse" came from years and years ago. Part of it was the marriage, but there is a much deeper unresolved reason. That DOES NOT make it right though.
I'm glad you can see this.
****He's 10 yrs younger than I and I see that he really never had an adolescence. He wasn't "allowed" in his rigidly structured home to step outside the lines. He couldn't make mistakes or it meant something was wrong with him. The anger I believe he feels for his father is finally surfacing. Unfortunately I made some of the same mistakes his father made - I was critical, nit-picky, "perfectionistic".
Not to sound like Freud, but daddy issues are a strong bind - for men and women.
**** I hope I get the chance again to be a better wife.
Even IF you don't you will be a better person. That's a positive isn't it?
****Does he ever miss me and our life together? Does he hear a song and think of me?
Yes he does. He is just pushing it down. He has to.
****He's lied so much over these past 8 months that I tend not to believe anything he says
He has to lie. I did too.
****I will pray for your sitch. Thanks. I don't deserve it, but my wife and kids do.
****when you finally do tell your wife about A - emphasize that you were not in your right mind
I hope I can tell her before the psycho OW gets to her. When, not if, I tell her. I will need a lot of support.
