****and I have the utmost respect for your decision to try
Thank you, but your respect should be saved for the husbands that did not have an affair.
****But what I can I tell him now?
Nothing. He is in a fog and not thinking clearly.
****But when I view H as a sick person going through an identity crisis - a crisis that is necessary to discover his true self - then I can see him more objectively and with more love in my heart.
WOW that is powerful. First of all the affair was NOT "necessary to discover his true self". Yes he may have needed to discover his true self. I am empathetic to that, but an affair is NO way to do that!!
I do respect your love and forgiveness for you H. I just hope and pray my W feels the same way when I tell her.
**** He didn't drop the D-bomb like I expected, although he did say he wanted to improve communication as we go forward as co-parents.
Good and bad I guess. Focus on the good. FYI, The I am no longer in an affair. I am still battling the OW and getting her out of my life, but the affair IS FINISHED. The other night, my wife and I had a long talk. I even talked about the co-parenting thing because one, I'm not sure we can get through our "issues" and two, I'm pretty sure she will leave me as soon as I tell her about the affair. The decision is more hers than mine though.
****But I spoke from my heart and said I wanted to find out what would have happened had we gotten the help we needed before he met Ow. H agreed!
That's good.
**** He said he's still confused about how we got to this point. No sh^t. I feel the same way.
****It gives me hope which is a scarce commodity these days.
No need to thank me. This is helping me more than you. You must not have read my hope thread....just a joke to myself. I think I'm a lone Dylan fan here.
