How do I behave around my cheating husband?

[MonicaP]

Peaceful - thanks for your post. Yes! GAL is key, it's the only way through this. And yes, this is hard. It sure helps to have other's to walk this road with.

Joker Man - wow! I am so grateful for your post! First of all, my prayers are with you and your wife because I imagine it's very hard for both of you....and I have the utmost respect for your decision to try. That's all I want from my H - just a chance to try. If we gave it an honest try and ultimately didn't stay together, at least I would have the satisfaction of knowing we'd done everything we could. I could one day tell my S4 that. But what I can I tell him now?

What you said about having your wife's kindness be the deciding factor for you - really hits home. The first months were very difficult, but I have to say it is getting easier to remember the person I fell in love with and "he's" who I try to respond to whenever I deal with H. If I dwell on his infidelity and lies I just can't conjure up the forgiveness and compassion and my bitterness takes over. But when I view H as a sick person going through an identity crisis - a crisis that is necessary to discover his true self - then I can see him more objectively and with more love in my heart.

Thursday we actually had our 1st MC session w/ a new C. She was great. H wanted to continue C after I fired our last one (incompetent!) and it had been more than a month since we'd seen anyone. Anyway, I think it went very well. He didn't drop the D-bomb like I expected, although he did say he wanted to improve communication as we go forward as co-parents. But I spoke from my heart and said I wanted to find out what would have happened had we gotten the help we needed before he met Ow. H agreed! He said he's still confused about how we got to this point. I took that as a positive. MC was able get a lot out of him (and me) and I think we actually walked away feeling like we'd accomplished something. She also gave us a homework assignment - to write a loose timeline of our R w/ significant moments and bring when we go back in 1 month.

Well, I can't tell you how much it means to hear your input. It gives me hope which is a scarce commodity these days.

I wish you all the best and thanks for taking the time to drop by...