How do I behave around my cheating husband?

[MonicaP]

Dear superstressed and flip,

Thank you so much for your posts! You're both right...

I'm working on the negative thinking thing, sometimes it takes monumental effort to believe that H could ever "choose me" again. I saw a pic of Ow and of course she is younger, "prettier" version of me. My H always assured me that I was the kind of woman he was attracted to - my coloring, hair color, etc. Well, guess what Ow looks like! But she's younger and wears combat boots

Yes, I do think of that old adage - that married men never choose Ow over wife in the end. I pray that's true.

But why do I want to be with H who cheats, lies, tells Ow she is the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, etc? Is he so far off the deep-end into identity crisis that I can truly "write off" or rationalize his current behavior? Is someone (H) truly capable of maturing and becoming more like the person I fell in love with again?

I know he'll never be the same - the man I originally fell in love with - but lately I've been imagining what it would be like to be with him again GIVEN THE CHANCE. Would I ever be able to trust him? Would I be attracted to him? Etc?

Tomorrow H and I have our 1st appt w/ new MC. I am very anxious about it because I fear he has been waiting for that to be able to tell me he wants a D. He's the one who wanted to continue our C (for communication for sake of co-parenting), but I wonder if it's just so he can drop the D-bomb in a "safe" place. Well, I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

I truly appreciate the feedback I receive here, otherwise I just feel like I'm whistling in the dark.

Does anyone have any thoughts on 28 yr old's identity crises?