How do I behave around my cheating husband?

[MonicaP]

Thanks Stilltryin.

Wow, how awesome that you have the opportunity to get back together with your H soon! I wish you all the best.

Yes, my H is young (nearly 28) and I'm 38. When H and I started "courting" it was through writing because we lived in separate countries. Through that process I truly believed that he was more mature than many older men I knew. We had similar values and both wanted similar things out of life, love, etc.

We met in Jul-98, married in Apr-00, had S3.5 in Sept-02, separated Nov-05. We've been together 8 yrs and it was only within the last 2 years that I noticed a change in H's attitude.

He met Ow Sept-05, but he had already started his journey away from me months prior by getting into "Goth" websites, showing less interest in sex, always preoccupied, not enthusiastic about family occasions, etc.

There is no doubt in my mind that he is going through a major identity crisis and delayed adolescence. He doesn't even look the same.

Well, I did something different today. It came to my awareness in the past couple of months just how critical I had been of him for "stupid little things". There was one thing in particular that used to annoy me and I had no problem telling him so. Well, looking back I can't believe I ever came down on him for that. So...it was truly from my heart - with no expectations - to try and convey to him how sorry I am about those things. I left him a voice message early afternoon. Well, he called me just before 8pm when I was reading stories w/ son. I immediately said "oh, do you want to talk to S3.5?", he said yeah, but wanted to talk to me first. He said he got my message and was totally surprised and has been thinking about it all day. He said "I don't know if you'll believe this, but it means a lot to me". Then he said "I don't know what to say, I wish I could find something fitting to say". I said, "you don't have to say anything, it was just important to me that I tell you that". And then I passed him to our S.

I swear, it was the first time in all of this that I felt like he truly heard me. And I really want him to know that - despite his betrayal - I am owning up to my part. I truly am sorry for my mistakes.

I wonder what will happen next....