How do I behave around my cheating husband?

[MonicaP]

H is coming back from biz trip this afternoon and plans to come over to see S3.5 tonight. While away he called each day to talk w/ S3.5, ofcourse this usually means chatting w/ me. I tried to make small talk and ask q's about his trip. Most of the time he seems open to talking (at least when Ow isn't waiting or around).

Last night I had a nightmare about our R; the general feeling was that H wanted nothing to do with me. I woke up feeling emotionally hung-over and worried about his visit tonight.

I have some grocery shopping and cleaning to do, so I'll keep busy, but I'm anxious about seeing him at all. We've had to reschedule our MC appt w/ new C twice now and so haven't been to C for over 1 month. In these past 8 mos the only time we really talk openly is in MC.

I honestly don't know how much longer I can handle being in this limbo, yet - if there's a chance in heaven - I still want to save my marriage. It will surely take a MIRACLE.

It is not my nature to stay in limbo, procrastinate, put anything off. If I can do something, anything, to keep things moving I usually do. This whole sitch runs counter to my nature!! If someone would have asked me "what would you do if H cheated on you?" I would have certainly replied "divorce him". But here I am, H is "in love" w/ Ow, continuing to deepen that R (I assume) day by day, and has stated that we are not compatible and "I can't be in this R anymore".

What am I to do???

Isn't there a point where the likelihood of H coming back is slim to none? Seems that point is here already!

Why am I waiting? - someone remind me please.