Not to continue the hijack, but I wouldn't spend too much time stressing about the romantic stuff. You can have all that and still have problems.
My H and my R has been nothing but incredibly romantic--perhaps too much so--and at times I have worried I was really just a long-term A to him. After all, I fit his pattern of having a R with a coworker. Granted I've had him 9 years and they each only had a matter of months.
But, I would much rather share the more mundane day-to-day stuff like hanging out with his friends than have all the romance. That's what I find hurts the most--that he would rather spend time with his friends, and that his friends and family have never accepted me. In fact, while my H had asked me to marry him before he had even told his family about me, he introduced ow#1 and ow#2 to his family and friends (not necessarily in person as they are overseas) almost right away. Both ow were accepted right away.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is to appreciate what you have and don't worry about what the home-wrecker is or isn't getting from your WAS. I truly believe in the grand karma of it all things will work themselves out.
