How do I behave around my cheating husband?

[MonicaP]

Dear Stilltryin,

Thank you for your lengthy post - I appreciate all of your feedback! It helps so much to get others' perspectives.

In the past 8 months I think I have definitely gotten progressively better. The first 1-2 months were "hell", but once I found DR I got some hope and direction. Ever since, I have been GAL as well as making a lot of personal (emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual) changes. I have been so fortunate to reconnect with a great therapist and have some wonderfully supportive friends. I have a strong spiritual life which is my foundation for everything! God has truly graced me with forgiveness and patience - and most of the time I can tap into that. Of course I am occasionally thrown off by some event or milestone w/ H, but seem to bounce back quickly enough.

Yes, I take his desire to continue w/ MC, although his intention (overtly) is not reconciliation, to be a positive.

For the most part I follow my intuition in dealing w/ H on any given day. Because he is around so often to be w/ S3.5 I have plenty of chances to DB. Some days my anger and hurt creeps up and that is when I conveniently have something out of the house to do. I don't make a big deal, just ACT AS IF everything is fine and go about my business. When I know he's lying to me I just say "uh huh" and change the subject. I am not overly "nice" or obviously withdrawn - most of the time. I try to stay true to myself and hopefully my changes will be obvious to him.

I rarely if ever call him. Occasionally I email to let him know how much money we have in our account, or to make some plans related to S3.5. But we see each other often enough that I don't need to call. I don't have a cell phone, so texting is not an option

Basically I realize that he is out there leading his own life - w/ Ow - and that what he does now is really none of my business. I don't feel that way inside, but that's how I have to act to him.

Today he left for London on a business trip. I immediately projected that Ow would accompany him. I have no evidence of that and don't intend to investigate, it's one more thing that's none of my business.

I keep praying for God to show me the right path, to keep me open to miracles and to trust that I will be ok no matter what. Some days are better than others.

I did share with my H that I really like my new job and that our S3.5 will be able to attend preschool there. I haven't volunteered much personal info for a while now, so that was actually "different".

All I can do is keep trusting God that I will know what to do when the situation arises. I take it day by day.

Today was a pretty good day.

Thanks again for posting, I can only imagine what it must be like to have my H actually still interested in me physically. We are truly separated. I personally have no interest in him sexually or in any other way while he is involved w/ Ow. I just can't get past the fact that he has given his heart to someone else. And right now he DEFINITELY doesn't deserve me

Take care and keep in touch!