Thanks again, gang, for all of your encouragement.

Rayanne radar is functioning perfectly! [Wink]

Had a good night last night, and slept the sleep of the dead. I’m feeling much better today. It makes it a lot easier to keep positive, greenbar [Big Grin]

You said a mouthful, Matilda. I don’t know what to do about my dreams, but I think their loss did make something die inside of me. Last night, W mentioned that she sometimes worries about where we’ll be when S#2 is 20 yrs old. Will we ever be free? I think this is the crux of her MLC, and to be honest, mine too. We don’t know what we can realistically dream about. You make some good points about the options that may be available to us down the road. I know there will be options. I just don’t know what they will be, and as you can see, W worries about this too.

We don’t know how the future will turn out. Especially in our case.

quote:
Originally posted by betty_sk October 22, 2001 11:54 AM on We don't know how the future will turn out (Page 1):

And your wife is right - none of us know how the future will turn out but we have the choice to let go of worrying about it and live in the present (again over-simplified but a point of thought).
Betty is right about the choice to let go of the worry, but like you said, Matilda, we have to have our dreams, and dreams are about the future.

BTW, Matilda, you most certainly did not offend me. I’m all too aware about the necessity to institutionalize some children. I know a couple whose son is severely autistic. They had to reluctantly place him. My older brother is schizophrenic. He was institutionalized at the age of 15. Parents have limits, but we also feel obliged to push those limits to the maximum. Like you said, my children are my #1 priority, even over my own happiness. It’s not martyrdom. It’s just a responsibility that fate has thrust upon me. And my W!

That’s my past. That’s my present. That’s my foreseeable future.

Which brings me to Wilma. Why doesn’t W want to ride with me? Presently, our freedom is limited by our son’s special needs. We can rely on our girls to baby-sit sometimes, but would it be fair to rob them of their childhood to accommodate our second childhood?

W has taken up activities that make her happy. Despite her onerous responsibilities, she has accommodated me to the extent that she includes me in some of them. Like I said, this necessarily means putting responsibility for S#2 on our girls’ shoulders whenever we’re out together. This also means that we have to “take turns” doing things. Riding is one of those things.

Our kids have needs too. Last night, W looked very tired. S#1 hadn’t stopped talking since he got home from school. D’ya think she wanted to hear about my day?

Whew! I’m getting tired just writing this post!

I guess the upshot of all of this is that W and I don’t have the time and energy to keep up with our family needs, her needs and my needs.

All we can do is go with the flow.

quote:
Originally posted by Wilma:

I'd rather be happy than right, but sometimes it does feel good to be happy AND right. You're a human, not a robot.
The issue isn’t really one of the principle of being right. I guess it comes down to the fact that what’s right for me isn’t necessarily right for W. Throw what’s right for our kids, and it gets kinda messy [Eek!]

Michele wrote somewhere that a couple doesn’t have to agree on everything to have a successful R. They don’t even have to agree on most things, or on major things. All they have to do is to learn to resolve their differences.

But, as we all know, that’s a tall order.

Andy

Tree... Haven't read your post yet. Will get back to ya.

[ May 03, 2002, 12:12 PM: Message edited by: ANS ]

Andy