How do I behave around my cheating husband?

[MonicaP]

Hi Tamashii,

Thanks for your post.

I am doing all the things you sugggested...have read DR over and over again, I rarely call H and only email for scheduling reasons (re: S3.5) or to give him an update on our bank balance, I detach and do my own thing even when he is here to see S3.5, went to a concert the other night and scheduled a babysitter to come in after he left, etc, etc.

I feel like I'm doing everything in my power but I don't see any progress whatsoever. The progress is in me, which I don't discount, but marriage is still going down the drain.

Tonight H was here to see S3.5 and wanted to leave early - to make it to a concert on time of a favorite band. Well, I was pretty skeptical being that this is the 4th, so I took a look at bands schedule - they're in New Mexico tonight! (We're in CA).

Now I'm wondering if I should call him on his lie. I am getting so fed up with his lies!!! Why does he continue to lie when he knows I'm well aware of his R w/ Ow?? Of course he's heading right back to be w/ her. No doubt he thinks he's hurting me less by saying he's going to a concert rather than admitting he's going to see the fireworks (a family occasion - once) w/ Ow.

So, should I point out that it's his lies that hurt me the most!?

Or should I just let it go? If so, how long do I have to keep letting these things go by? At what point can I give him a wake up call? I mean, does he really think I believe his lies??

It hurts so much. And it angers me. How can he live w/ himself? It just seems like he doesn't even care ~ he's just so anxious to get out of here and get back to her.

Meanwhile his little boy says things like "why isn't daddy ever coming back?" My heart breaks and H gets to go off and play, play, play.

Ugh. This has been a tough weekend. I just don't think I can take much more of this limbo. Well, it's not really limbo since it seems pretty obvious that he is done. The last time we spoke of our R he said "I just can't be in this R anymore...we're not compatable"...ouch. He really believes that and the Ow is now "the one".

How do I walk through this w/ self-respect?

Need help.