How do I behave around my cheating husband?

[MonicaP]

I am so exhausted from the sadness at times. It's been nearly 8 mos since separation and nearly 10 mos since H started A.

Are they really meant to be? What hope do we have? He's "in love" with Ow.

I've been DB'ing for 6mos or so and feel like it's just becoming more comfortable for H to walk away. He sees me going on with my life and being "happy", so now he's off the hook. He doesn't have to feel guilty anymore. Right?

Today he came by for an hour to watch sick S3.5 so I could get to work. When he arrived he mentioned that the reason he was in jean/t-shirt (coming from work) was that he stopped home to change just in case S got sick on him. I politely nodded. Inside I was already seething "knowing" that he was probably just coming from Ow's house.

After he left he called to ask if I was upset he could only stay for 1 hr. I said no, no, I understand - ya-da, ya-da. But then I said "you know, you don't have to explain to me what you wear, etc..it's none of my business". I told him, unless it relates to our S or finances, he doesn't need to tell me anything. He got angry tone and said "oh, ok, I will only talk about things relating to S and $ then". I tried to explain (in a non-threatening way) that he didn't have to feel the need to explain things to me.

But I also went on to say that I would just rather not know, rather not hear any explanations, because the fact remains that he is w/ Ow. I got a little choked up and said I was doing the best I can to accept that fact and that it was still painful for me.

I also asked him why he wanted to continue on with MC 1/month after I suggested we terminate. He thinks it will help us "stay on track with our communication" and "it's good to have an objective person". I guess I still have hopes that he'll say "you never know, maybe the MC will help us save our marriage". Ha!

No, he's truly gone I'm afraid. And I miss him more and more as I feel him slipping farther and farther away.

Is there anything to the theory - that I am making it comfortable for him to walk away?

Can anyone out there relate?