Andy,

Giving up on one's dreams is tantamount to death. What is there to live for if you have nothing to look forward to; if you don't have your dreams. H's and my dreams are the same as your's. We have a motorhome now (have had one for 13 years), and fully expect to spend much of retirement on the road. We both love it so much. He loves to drive; I love to ride [Big Grin] .

I've seen first-hand how a handicapped child affects a marriage. My H's brother is "slow", shall we say. He is now 37 and is still being taken care of by in-laws who are approaching 80. They are bitter, unhappy people. It is so sad and a total waste. We've tried to get them to place BIL in an assisted living arrangement. He'd be much happier there in the long run. He can do some things for himself, but does need a help and really can't be on his own. In-laws insist he must stay with them - he is their "problem". Don't get me wrong. They love him whole-heartedly and feel it is the right thing for them to do. But I think sometimes they are not really thinking about what is best for their son. They keep him with him out of guilt (and love, of course). Someday they will be gone and their son will thrown into the chaos of not only losing them, but of a whole new living arrangement. It would be much better if he were getting used to being without them before he is really "without" them.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that you don't take responsiblity for your child as he becomes an adult. I'm just suggesting that there may be options that you've not thought of; there might be options that may in the long run be better for him - which I know you consider as your no.1 priority, even over your own happiness. Just don't fall into the trap of martorism. Really explore the options as he gets older. Ascess what will be best for HIM. And above all, keep the dream alive. There are always ways to do the things you want. You just have to keep your mind open to all the possiblities.

I hope I haven't offended you in any way. I think it takes unimaginable courage and love to deal with a handicapped child. Your son is very lucky that God placed him in your hands for safekeeping.

XOXO,

Matilda