quote:
Originally posted by Fille:

So...DB aproach is....you leave her ALONE about it. You act as if. You do what you do and back off already.
You’re right, Fille. That’s what I’ve been doing and it’s working. Can’t argue with success.

Most posters to my last thread were pushing for better listening techniques on my part. I guess that “my side” was that I couldn’t apply these techniques as long as she didn’t give me anything to listen to.

Interesting about the truck. I’m in a similar sit, but in my case it’s motorcycles. What IGgy said to you could have been a direct quote from my W a few weeks ago. I’m going to the dealership today to sign the loan papers on a 2002 Yamaha V-Star 650.

She can’t say that now.

quote:
Originally posted by Fille:

And before you go there, we have the same stuff over his health. Same stuff applies. [Smile] . There are better ways to stay engaged with one another...you know what I mean Vern?
Yes, there are better ways to stay engaged, but you have to be engaged before you can stay engaged. And, in order to be engaged, you both have to be involved.

We’re at a point now where W wants to be engaged, but it’s not her top priority. I would like to do things together. We have common interests and activities, but she doesn’t want to do them together. We had a discussion this morning that kinda lays it out.

She told me that our dream (yes we once had a common dream) of retiring and touring the country in a winnibego is impossible. Our son’s handicap will prevent us from ever having that kind of freedom, so we may as well take whatever freedom we can now.

And she’s right. I have a lot of trouble getting over my lost dreams, but in reality, we’re going to have to take care of a handicapped child well into his adulthood.

That means that our couples life isn’t on hold anymore. It’s dead.

We both golf. W is getting a motorcycle, and I’m working on getting my license, and a bike. Does that mean we can do these things together?

No. We’re going to have to take turns.

For the rest of our lives.

I’m just going to have to get my mind around that.

Andy

Andy