OM shows his ugly face again

John,
Maybe I didn't put it right. I wouldn't feel that her actions could be justified, so as a parent that would make me even less likely to be accepting.

Hopefully I will never be in that position. My SIL is a pretty decent guy. He also has a retired minister for a father. If he ever cheated on D he would probably have to answer to them before me anyway.

Anyway, it sounds like your parents are coming around.

I imagine that sometime in the future you may get more of an appology. It's just less painful for her to blame you right now.

rayanne

[53John]

Tongight we are attending our first family function on my side since the A and separation. My W is still upset about my parents not comfortable with her. That started a big OR talk. W began to withdraw and is still trying to justify the A and can't figure out why my folks are still pissed at her.

When I tried to explain why, she got pissed at me. Go figure. She started to get into us disagreeing. I told her that we were not disagreeing, but just sharing our feelings.

She is still trying to justify what she has done as being her only option. Even goes so far as to say that I made her have the A. I admitted to allowing the marriage to deteriorate to the point that made it possible for her to choose an A.

Things have been going real well for the past weeks. I hope that she can get past this setback.

John,
Frustrating,huh? Sorry! I think way down deep she knows the truth. Just too hard to admit to herself yet.
rayanne

[healedbutscarred]

Hope things are going better for you. I just got back in town and I'm trying to catch up on everybody. I know it is very frustrating to you that your W seems to be trying to blame you for the A. I do understand where you are coming from when you say you allowed the relationship to get to the point where she chose to have an A. I feel that is what I did also (with help from my H). He admitted from the beginning that it was NOT my fault that he had an A. He stressed that he made the choice,knowing it was wrong but he was to the point where he felt he had nothing to lose. He was unhappy and stressed out and said he really didn't care about anyone,anything or even himself. He called himself an A**H*** and I heartly agreed !! I really think your wife knows deep down that she made the decision to have an A on her own and she can't blame anyone but herself. I guess that some people just can't accept responsibility for their own actions. Hopefully she will. You seem to be doing good and I am hoping and praying that things continue to look up for your and your family. Keep us updated.
pfroglady

[53John]

After the OR talk yesterday she started to sink into her depression. She even tried to walk away from the conversation a couple of times. Then she laid down and slept for a couple of hours. When she woke up she was feeling better. I think that the whole incident was brought on by some anxiety about seeing my family.

Things really went fine with the family last night. We has another get together with my family today and that went fine also.

This morning, my W and D were going through W’s jewelry box and my W was reminiscing about the memories that each piece brought back. After that, W came over and hugged me and told me that going through the jewelry brought back some happy memories and feelings of us together. Up to now, I was the bad guy for 18 years.

Things are very positive and I’m feeling very optimistic about our future.

I think that any admission by W is still a while off. But that won’t stop our reconciliation from going forward. She still doesn’t fully understand the scope of all the people that were affected by her actions. Still acting a bit narcissistic in this regard.

Good night, my friends.