H has no desire and I have no libido

[Jen_Jam]

Hello all
this is my second thread here, I have posted my main situation in newcomers, but here I would like specifics on dealing with my SSM. It has been this way for some time. I just don't desire sex. Last year H left, he is now back and we have a good R but he says "I don't feel desirous of you" and "I love you but I have no passion for you". It hurts to hear this but I realise that there are reasons it's come to that and I believe it can get better.
I have low self esteem. I am working on that and will be starting individul therapy soon to address that. I have not desired sex for years. Even on honeymoon! I have always been the same. For the first 8 months or so of a R I have a high libido, then it just goes and I feel that I can't do it anymore. With H it stayed a bit longer - about 2 years (we have been married almost 3 years, together for 8).
He stopped feeling desire for me last year.
I realise I have been sending him unconcious messages that I don't desire him. I also did tell him about 1-2 years ago that I had a problem with sex and it was nothing to do with him, but stupidly I looked to him to help me with it - I have learnt from that and the new, improved me will look to myself for help.
I suppose I am asking here what steps can take to regain the intimacy? Obviously I need to work on myself, is there anything else? Our MC suggested that we attend psycho sexual therapy - we are going to discuss it over the weekend.
I am very open to suggestions and not easliy offended. I realise sex can be a difficult subject but I realise I need to face this so am prepared for just about anything!
All advice appreciated.