My H said he felt no passion, no love....of course my view was different....he didn't tell me he was so unhappy until just before he left and even then didn't really tell me he was unhappy being married to me... Now I don't believe everything he said but I did stop and take a long hard look at myself (after I got absorbed in feeling sorry for me first).....and I saw some things that I had to agree would have made me unhappy....so I began working on those things in me.... In time....a lot of time I was able to get another chance....while there were opportunities to discuss his emotional-turned-physical affair I promised myself one thing.....not to throw that in his face....he had come home and for that I was to be thankful...I also would control my suspicious thoughts and not feel that everytime he was working all night.....or away from me that he was up to no good.....that type of life would have made us both miserable....he has told me that I know where he is and I am free to come by anytime....day or night.....and I have on occasion (with a good reason)and sure enough he was there or showed up shortly back at my place (we crossed paths).....I let little things reassure me.... I haven't heard "I love you" again yet but the other night I told him I was glad he was here and he said "I'm glad I am here too.".....that was music to my ears.. I really feel good that I have been able to keep from blaming him for my hurt feelings....I am glad that I am feeling trust for him again....I am glad that we are getting a second chance.... It has been a long road....a long time....but if I had held onto my pain and anger I know without a doubt my H would not be in my life.....nor would he be around for our children... And as someone mentioned ealier.....we have to remember that they felt pain too....whether it was real or imagined it hurt them too.... So keep working on you....keep forgetting the past....keep showing your spouses who you are truly capable of being... and show them you can put the past behind and work on a new future.... But none of this will happen over night....I have been piecing now for 7 months.....but it is much more rewarding to be piecing then to be crying alone every night....
