Always-14....I am so like you....had my H convinced that he was being followed by a PI because of the information I had on him....I accessed his cell phone account and activated the GPS so even though he was living hours away I could track his every move....and it totally freaked him out..... Finally one day my DD asked me why I bothered???....I could only see where he was not who he was with or what he was doing....I had to let it go...and get on with MY life... I felt such a freedom when I got past the initial anxiety of "not knowing".....but in the long run it allowed me to move on with my life....to be open to him still... When he did return....about 1 1/2 yrs. later....he told me he didn't have anyone after the one I knew about....he wasn't dating.....or having one-night stands as I had imagined....and he told me things he felt I should know about the OW and why he felt attracted to her....and then said...."it is over and I want to forget all about her.... can you let me do that?"...that is when I had to make the decision to let the OW go....he had and he needed that from me so that WE could work together to rebuild what was torn down...
So...all you snoopers....make a commitment to yourself... and to your marriages....quit snooping....unless something totally jumps out at you as being wrong and you feel it in your 'gut'....just let it go....don't look for trouble, anger, anxiety, hurt, pain, depression, guilt, and all those other negative things you will find when snooping....if it is in the past....let it stay there and move on...
I know this is hard....my first step was deactivating the GPS....next was to quit viewing his phone logs online.... after that it got easy....
Start with the big stuff and work your way off...promise yourself you will do this for YOU....you will be happier and eventually more settled....and it will open the way for trust to be regained....on both sides!
