I truly thought of myself as a kind patient person... I was so angry this morning about the alarm I painted the whole picture black "why the heck am I putting up with this, maybe we shouldn't be together, he is an inconsiderate jerk and this and that...."
I literally had to bite my tongue not to call him a jerk and not to go after him to tell him how rude he was, I guess the devil is really at me now, flaming any little thing so I get angry and I loose it and affirm my H's beliefs "yup, that's why I left."

I'll put my paperback novel away and try to get the book you suggest Gwyn,and the other one someone else suggested, if I find the scrap of paper where I wrote the title

Thanks for your sothing cool words on this hot head of mine , I needed someone to talk me down, I can't trust anybody IRL with this pain/turmoil.
(I like the bat idea, I do want to let the anger out or at least let H hear me out so it doesn't fester in me, I better get it out with the bat than with my H)

Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.