sort of new here..WAH came back,I feel so unloved

[cat03]

I was on the "separated" board for months, got so much great input and after 7mths WAH came back. We do C every week, helps lots, but we seem to be regressing. We do good then fall down again.
Yes, he is back home and doing counceling, but has said he "doesn't hate me but doesn't ...feel any other way either"
We ML occasionally, some days are great, but we I lost it yesterday and today I couldnt' help it and told him how awful it felt not be loved, like he doesnt' care.

Maybe I shouldn't have said it, we are trying to start over and I guess it is like rushing him, but how it hurts to see other couples being tender and caressing each other, and remember how much he cherished me. He still remembers the bad parts and doesnt' give me the benefit of the doubt, still thinks I'm all pissed off after an argument even if I act my best from my heart.

I feel like I can't win, dont' matter if I'm truly upset or not, he still pegs me as the b*tch, of course he denies it and says "that's how I see it, maybe you dont' think so but that's how I feel"
I'm just at a loss, I'm not the monster he describes, all moody and spoiling for a fight, C helped me so much and I have changed, it's like he doesn't see this.

Please help, I've been near tears all day and night, he called me and told me that we'll talk tonight, actually acting like a human being and not blaming me, he reminds me he still has lots of issues and still doesn't feel like himself (he had or still has a MLC, untreated ADHD and dealing with a new job which still isnt' 100 secure until he passes 9mths of training.

well, if anyone reads this whine, bless you