Pat-I was reading WAY back on Matilda's old thread, and read something you wrote that got my attention-you said when you and your H first got back together the sex was great fro while and then it died down some and then went back up. That is waht is happeneing to us! At first we were intimant almost every night. Now he is not initating much and when I do it takes him longer to respond and get aroused when all I used to have t o do was say something or touch him. It really makes me feel insecure and makes you wonder what;s going on with them. IS he thinking about her? Is he talking to her? All questions I have no answers for. He tells me he loves me but I feel he has backed off from when he first came home-he was trying so much harder then to be reassuring. It just feels like he's not totally present with me, and I don't feel safe enough to tell him for fear of him getting defensive thinking he is doing so much and I tell him it's not enough. When do we get the trust back?? When do we know that these actions are not about the OW? I need so much love from him right now and he just deos not seem to be able to give it to me. I jst keep coming here to post so I don't call him and say something that would set us back months, We have MC tonight so I do plan to address my feelings. I'm just not sure ho at this point. IT sounds like you went through so much of this with your H. My main concern of course is that the OW is not involved in any way. HE sawears she's not and maybe its just the withdrawal thing and I need to back off and not be so needy although I try not to be I'm sure it comes through, and he's afraid he can never be all I need. I have the same fears! Can I be all he needs after the A? I think so-I just need to remain calm and let the R take its course. This is soooo hard!!! Rachael M.
