I too am praying alot. I don't underestimate the power of it. There have been so many times when I thought my prayers were not beong heard, only to have them answered much later. God has his own timing and I know it is perfect. I feel guilty worrying,because I am a beleiver and have put my marrriage in God's hands a thousand times only to try and take it back again by worrying. IT is a constant thorn in my side. Maybe one wheich he willuse someday to help me grow into a much better eprsonthan Iam right now (It wouldn't take much at this point in my life. I was always so upbeat and laughed all the time, now I feel everything has been sucked out of me. I know its prorbaly only temporary but its been an LONG time and I still am struggling with the A and the betrayal. I suppose I will fro a long time but I'm not about to give up. I jst am prayiing for the will to start to really live again, and have actual joy! What a happy day that will be for me. When I can stop askig my H for reassurance it will make both of us happy I think. THe last itme I talked to him about it I asked him to please reasssure me from time to time that there has no contact wioth her nad that I can totally trust him. HE said he would try. I am still wiating for him to do that, but its only been 4 days, so I will not give up hope yet. I would think he would want top reassure me, but I guess its a painful remainder to him of what he did and is so ashamed of. I'm off to read a little before he comes home. I asked him to tryand come home early-he would not promise but siad he'd try. We'll see! Rachael M.
