GOOD LUCK RACHEL!! I know you can make it 21 days!! I am pulling for you!!
I know what you mean about your H not wanting to hurt the XOW anymore than he already did. My H felt guilty when he breoke off the A and tried to remain friendly with her when she emailed and asked if they could be friends. He thought I'd never know and he said he thought that it would be ok since he wasn't seeing her,just responding to the ocassional email. Well,I did find out and he ended up hurting me more! I explained to him that yes,she was hurt but she went into the A knowing that he was married and she knew she was risking her heart (her own words in a letter to him). She got hurt but now she has to move on..get over it and get a life!! I explained to him that it was ok for him to feel guilty for hurting her but he has to get over it and work on making it up to me for hurting me TWICE!! He was being emotionally unfaithful,whether or not he understands that. He told me it was completely and totally over. He swears he has had no contact with her since last July. Now how can he proove that? There really isn't a sure fire way he can so now it is up to me. I have to either accept his word or not. He can't make me believe him. It is a matter of me listening to my heart. We went to the club because it was the best place in town to go dancing. We discussd it before we went. He swore to me that it didn't bother him if she saw us together.He said the place held no special meaning to him. The only thing he was worried about was that if she was there with her firends or her D,someone would say or do something to upset or hurt me. He said we had been having so much fun together,he didn't want anything to spoil it. I knew he was reluctant to go but it was something I needed. As strange as it may seem,it was a part of the healing process. I made new and happy memories in a place that was the cause of some unhappy memories. Now when I think about that place I think of the fun WE had instead of his being there with someone else.
Anyway...you GO GIRL!! Let us know how you are doing!! It's hard but I have all kinds of confidence in your ability to make it!!
Pat