It takes time to recover from an Affair. The thing is that your H has to have the personal integrity to behave appropriately w regard to her. The ideal would be to move away. Realistically , no contact is the healthist way to go. If there is professional contact it should be w others present and just that-professional.
Your change is to let it be on him, his responsiblity, to do the right thing because he wants to and not because he has too. Big difference.
You asked him about her today. Can you challenge yourself to go 21 days before allowing yourself to mention her again?
