Lisa, Just got back this afternoon from our little get away and finally got a chance to sign on and catch up on everyone.
I too have times when my imagination runs away with me..even after a year! I hate it but I am learning to deal with it. I don't mention it to my H. I see no sense in that since there is really nothing he can do to make me not have those thoughts. He has been doing great and I have no reason to suspect he has had any communication with the XOW since July last year. He has this uncany ability to put things away in his mind and never bother with them again (sure wish I had that nack!). I know he hates talking about the A and the XOW and I really don't feel the need to discuss it with him anymore but if I ever do I know he will listen and talk to me if it's what I need. If you've been DB'ing for several months now and you have noticed changes,then you are doing something right [Smile] so I'd say keep doing what you're doing and things should just keep getting better!! My H said that it took him several months to really start feeling like things were really going to work out. He said that he wasn't sure how far apart we had gotten. I had immediately started making changes in the way I treated him and the way I did certain things (started the night I confronted him about the A and we had a long talk). I am sure he was a bit uncertain that I could keep this up. I was equally uncertain as to whether or not he was going to make changes. But I knew that I could keep them up. Somehow I had changed inside. When I knew for sure that he still loved me and wanted to fix the problems and that he never loved this XOW,I felt a sense of great relief and my heart felt lighter for the first time in a long time. Because I knew we loved each other enough to make it work I was determined to show him that I could and would change and maintain that change. Oh,there are times when I get down and feel sad but he understands. I really don't know what to tell you other than to keep DBing and give it time. It's not easy and there will be times when you feel that the pain is never going to stop and times when you feel like there has been no progress but hang in there,it will get better. You will also have "relapses" but don't beat yourself up over those! You are human!! Take it one day at a time,one step at a time...the prize at the end of the road is worth it....a happy,loving relationship!! I'm here if you need me...my thoughts and prayers are with you!
Pat