Hello Pfrog -

I just read through this thread and am happy to make your aquaintance....congratulations on having reached this place in your marriage. I wish you the best for the future with your H.

That TOW site is a real eye-opener isn't it? What a group of mostly non-introspective people! It's worth reading though to get the insight and also to see that there are some marriages out there that really aren't worth saving...... [Smile]

In regards to your earlier question about sex/love and the differences between men/women I would have to say that for myself the most satisfying overall sex happens when I have a strong emotional connection too. Sex can be fun when there is little emotional involvement but it's no good like that for a loving committed relationship. FYI I never cheated on my W even though I occasionally considered it.

I think it's important to try to avoid generalizations about male and female behavior in terms of thinking that one gender is more likely to cheat than another (not that I think you are saying that!), or even that men want sex without committment and women don't....I've been involved with my share of women who are afraid to open up emotionally in a relationship ( like my stbx, for exmaple [Big Grin] ).

The Mars/Venus book is pretty good: it shows us some of the differences in how our brains are wired. But I see this as differences in how we interpret feelings and situations.........I think fundamentally our human-ness is the bottom line and that we all want mostly the same things.......to love and be loved, to be close and have connectedness to family and friends.

Ed