Well,I am embarrassed to tell you that I had a bad night last night [Embarrassed] !! I really can't explain what happened. I had been a touch blue during the day but that was just from missing my H. I honestly hadn't been thinking about anything else. The kids called and we decided to go to a baseball game instead of hanging out here which was fine by me since I thought it would help to get out of the house. Talked to my H before I left and we had a really great talk. He could tell that I sounded a little blue and he was sweet and loving and said all the right things and I was feeling better when he hung up. Had a good time with my kids and grand daughter. Got home kind of late so decided not to call my H . Knew he and the guy he is rooming with would be sleeping (talked to him earlier too and he told me they had an early tee time).Anyway,as I said I can't explain what happened...all I know is I climbed into that big,cold,empty king size bed ,looked over at the pictures of my H I keep on the table and burst into tears!! Then wouldn't you know it....the thoughts of the A came flooding back. I thought about him being with her and the things she wrote in those letters about the things they did and the things she wanted to do and I cried until I was sick!! The weird thing is I never once thought that he was doing anything this trip!! Is that crazy or what? I honestly never even went there!! All I was thinking about was what happened over a year ago. Talk about feeling like an IDIOT this morning [Roll Eyes] !! I did try to tell myself all the things I usually do.."IT IS OVER and HAS BEEN OVER FOR A LONG TIME".."HE LOVES YOU"..."HE NEVER LOVED HER"... "THINGS ARE REALLY GREAT BETWEEN US"...But none of that worked this time. What happened to me? I thought that I was doing so great!! I had been telling you about how good things were going and now I have to tell you that I "flipped out"!! I am really embarrassed [Embarrassed] but I knew that this was the one place I could come and talk about what happened and someone would understand!! Boy,did that ever help!! Do you think I'm "losing it" or is this just a little "set back" caused by being lonely? You know how my H hates to talk about what happened so I am not even sure I should tell him about "falling apart" like that. What do you think? I'm not sure it would accomplish anything. I really can't even explain to myself what caused it. It has been a LONG time since I have even shed a tear over it!! OK... The main thing is I feel ok now and I don't feel like crying anymore and I am not worried...I am just feeling like an IDIOT for "going to pieces" that way!! [Embarrassed] Thanks for being here for me and thanks for all your support and help!! Don't know what I'd do without you!!!!! [Smile] pfroglady