THANKS MATILDA!! Saturday night was one of the best talks my H and I have had. He really opened up more than he ever had. I too told him some things that I hadn't before. I told him that not only did he rip my heart to shreds by cheating but he "let me down,disappointed me and showed me he wasn't the man I had thought he was"! The look on his face was one of pain and kind of a shock Don't think he'd ever thought of that before. Anyway,I told him that this talk really helped me a lot and that I really felt good that he opened up like he did. I kind of feel like we won't have to have another one of those talks again! I will keep coming here though and keeping up with all my friends and keeping them up to date. This is so great and so helpful. I thought a lot about the XOW yesterday and have decided that she isn't worth my time! Contacting her at this point in time won't accomplish anything. I doubt she'd even read a letter or email from me anyway (she'd probably forward them to my H trying to cause trouble -never realizing that I would have already told him what I was doing and even showed him what I had written). It helps to call her names and think evil thoughts about her! I even have these little thoughts in my head about ways to confront her and what to say to her. Matilda,I know that if my situation had been the same as yours then I would have done exactly what you did! If she had kept after my H once he broke things off then I would not have hesitated to "let her have it"!! When I found out they were still communicating some I did call her at work but was told she was not in,called her house and left a nice message on her machine and then called her cell phone but she told me that we had nothing to talk about and hung up. I then emailed her and she forwarded it to my H and claims she never read it -just opened it and forwarded it. Then when my H wrote and told her that there was no way they could be "friends" and that it was completely over she sent him a last "good bye" and we haven't heard from her since. But I think she know that if she ever tries to get back into my H's life she will have to "deal with me" and I won't be as nice as I was the last time [Eek!] !! If and when we ever go back to the place where he met her and we see her I'm not sure how I will react. It has been so long now that maybe I won't even feel the need to say anything or do anything. Who knows. But I do know that if we do see her and she comes up to us she'd better be VERY CAREFUL!! I am usually quiet and easy going and it takes a lot to really make me angry but when I do get angry WATCH OUT!! [Eek!] But for now I am just going to consentrate on me,my H and our relationship and try to finally put her face out of my head. I was a bad girl and I did keep the picture of her that she sent my H (didn't tell him -he thinks I shredded all the pictures [Razz] ). I think now I will bring it out of it's hiding place and do something naughty to dispose of it [Big Grin] - any suggestions? Maybe that is what I need for closure instead of confronting her. Take care and keep up the good work,Matilda!! You are an awesome lady!! [Smile] pfroglady